Well the time has almost arrived for my first FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) which is scheduled for tomorrow. I’ll be honest, I can hardly think about much else at the moment but people at work keep giving me work to do so that’s good. Ish. Stupid work.
Since my last post things have been fairly uneventful as Januarys tend to be. I did reach the grand old age of 33 though last week, which pretty much feels the same as 32 did so far although in fairness we’re only a week in. I’m sure me and 33 will get on much better though, 32 was a bit of a narky cow.
I started the meds for this FET a couple of weeks ago and haven’t felt too dodge for the most part. A bit dizzy at times (what else is new – there I said it first), a bit nauseous in the evenings and lately fairly tired but otherwise grand. The worst drug I’ve had to take overall is definitely the Clomid so after that everything is a bonus!
A visit to the clinic for a scan last week went well and all is looking good so far so the transfer was scheduled for tomorrow. I don’t think there’s much to the actual procedure itself. I’m fairly nervous of the whole thing, not of the actual transfer but of the waiting that will follow and then taking the test at the end. I’ll be honest, I’m scared of how I will get my head around it if it doesn’t work.
The hardest part of all this is keeping yourself sane. People tell me that I shouldn’t be negative but I have to be a little bit.. maybe not negative but realistic. I can’t allow myself to imagine us shopping for baby clothes or choosing names. Of course the thoughts cross my mind but generally I don’t entertain them. I think all the disappointments and constant failures up to this point have taught me that but that doesn’t make them any easier to cope with, they did teach me to be more prepared. I’m excited at the thought that it might work but wary of the possibility that it won’t. Realistically Cautious.
The thought of doing the test at the end of the two weeks is agonising to me. I know some women test after the first few days out of impatience and excitement but I couldn’t do that, I don’t know how they do! I’d be too scared. Plus the tests are often inaccurate too early, so I just feel it would be way too headwrecking and I definitely don’t need any more of that.
But we’ll see I suppose!
Maybe I am naturally a negative person. I also think I might be superstitious – is even writing this tempting fate? Even if it is, there is nothing I can do. Perhaps our little embryo is already in the thawing process – like a rollercoaster, once you’re on there’s no getting off.
We have decided to transfer one embryo on advice from the clinic and we’re happy to do this. They say there is more than 92% chance that the embryo will thaw as it should so hopefully that will be the case and we’ll still have 6 other embryos if we ever need them.
But the best part is that I have two days off work and I have been instructed not to lift a finger. Who am I to argue? I plan to lie in my favourite PJ’s and watch Season 5 of Breaking Bad ( I think we’re the only two people on the planet who haven’t seen it yet).
For anyone reading I would really love if you could cross your fingers and anything else crossable for us! We’re at the business end now.